Saturday, October 22, 2011

And So It Has Begun

Work, that is.

You see, despite being a central bank scholar for five years, I never quite knew what the fuck we do. All I knew was that we're a bank that's not quite a bank. And all the time we're told great things are expected of us because historically the scholars tend to do better. Right. No pressure then.

There is almost no point in my degree. My four years in university in Pittsburgh--yes. But the degree? Not really. It's been three months since I've joined this 9-to-6 rat race, and I can't quite think of anything from my classes that is reflected in any of my work. But my Excel and Powerpoint skillz (yes, that's with a 'Z'), knowledge of funky 'new' business models (which have been around for years in USA), and of esurance ads ("Technology when you want them, people when you don't")--all of which I garnered through four years in the Steel City--has somehow helped me as I slave away in my cubicle. Also, the cubicle. It's kinked. It can fit six people per island. Not very cubish at all.

But anyway, work isn't as bad as people say. And I say this despite having seven (7) supervisors who can, at any time of the day, call me to menghadap and discuss whatever or just to pass me something due besok before lunch please. They are all sat around me from my one o'clock all the way counterclockwise to my four o'clock. It's a pain at times, but I have to say getting praised for a job well done, or just doing it efficiently or improving on the current process--well it just gives you a sense of satisfaction. And I enjoy this. Somewhat.

My only beef with the workplace comes in the form of the kiasus who can't shut up about their KPIs, as well as broken Engrish. The former first. Anyone who's a fresh grad will not know shit, no matter how high their CGPA, or how classy their British degree is. Even someone who with a shitload of experience will not know the machinations of a new organization. This is a simple fact that any 14-year old can tell you. So why are we banging on about how it's unfair that we can't get high ratings and whatnot? Wait your turn, work your way up. Even if you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth your dad's penis probably put it there. Or your mom's gyne; it doesn't just appear from nowhere. Again, this is a simple fact that any 14-year old can tell you. Fine, maybe not the gyne part but you get my point. If you really are that good, prove it. And that requires time. You don't just have to show that you're awesome. You also have to show that you're not an idiot either. Sure, you did good last week. But will you do the same this week? And next? Really, just shut up and deal with it.

My biggest achievement during my first month was to get someone to say 'expedite' correctly, instead of expedeet. What was good about it (at least I thought so) was the manner in which I did so. I just kept saying it right until said person finally said it right. It made me happy. My lips may not have moved, but I was smiling from ear to ear on the inside. Previously, I have always been the better one; I had a certain authority about me when it came to speaking the language, despite mistakes of my own every now and then. However, in an office where you're the most junior member (and youngest, at that) and you have to deal with people who are mothers and grandfathers and whatnot, how do you say oh that's wrong, it should be this instead? Actually that sounded quite good/okay. Funny how I never thought of that before. But that's one small battle. I can only say I've made a substantial contribution to the war once I rid the office/department/organization from saying 'develop' as 'devlep'. That's the Big One. The Holy Grail. Anyway. That's only pronunciation. There's also grammar (haih), misuse of my beloved apostrophe, and of course the lack of use of the page break in Word.

Okay, that last one isn't English per se. But still. When printing stuff, it should be in Arial 12. But for the warga emas, they kind of want it in Arial 14, double-spaced. And what happens when you increase the font size and spacing? The charts get fucked up, and the title is the last line of the page and that's just not pretty or befitting of something from our department/organization innit. Had these geniuses embraced the wonder of the page break--it's Alt+Enter in Word, UPA--the lives of so many people would be made much easier, blood pressure levels won't be so high, and well, thing would be better.