What I Learnt at PLKN Part I

I swear to God I am not referring to a website for the lyrics. I know them by heart.

*Muka feeling sambil buka baju, sarung tuala, menari dengan sabun on the way to the shower.*

Kau kekasih aaaaawal dan aaaakhir
Kau kekasih baaaatin dan zaaaahir
Tak kukisah taaaaak kupeeeeduli
Walau bulan jaaaatuh ke buuumi
Dan hadir bidaaaadariiiiii-ihi-ihi (part ni high pitch gila babi)


That's all I know from what they've been singing every single fucking day I was there. And they thought it weird that a city boy like me didn't know the words.


It's times like these I wanted my mommy.

Why I Miss Bahasa Melayu

"Di mana bumi dipijak, di situ langit dijunjung."
...to justify why we do things my way.

"Berat sama dipikul, ringan sama dijinjing."
...only ever used in BM karangans.

"Manusia merancang, tuhan menentukan."
...usually preceded by 'masalahnya' or 'namun' or 'tapi', in an attempt to cover up your fucking up. It's nice because it sounds pious. Hahaha.

"Ayuh kita bergegas!"
...said many times in Chicago when Nadiah got carried away taking useless pictures.

"Weh..."
...to call someone. Over here it's always "dude!"

*bunyi cium high pitch*
...also to call someone.

"Gila babi!" or "Gila babs!"
...a (sadly very bad) alternative to OMG.

"Gempak sial!"
...at something gempak.

"...sial!" or "...shhhiaaalll!" or "...doh!"
...at almost anything worth emphasizing.

"Buto ah..!"
...when something bad happens or you just wanna insult someone.

"Apa masalah kau?"
...at someone who seems to have a problem.

"Bertepuk sebelah tangan."
This has no English equivelant. Which makes it so much cooler than it already is. It describes things (and/or situations) perfectly. And it sounds so right when you get to use it.

"Hamun! Hamun! Hamun!"
...to maki hamun a junior.

"Raung! Raung!"
...meraung bila sakit.

"Kepala bapak kau!"
...when I beg to differ. With a sabdu on the 'P' (baPak).

"Bini pertama belum tanam, dah nak nikah bini baru."
...said to people who pray before the azan ends.

"Tak lari gunung dikejar."
Still finding the opportune moment to say it. Used it once to spite Nadzrina in a phone argument she had with Steve.

"Takde benda. Aku cakap kau hensem."
...to cover up when someone I mengumpat overhears me.

"Tidak pernah kuduga-ha, ini semua terjadi-hi."
...whenever something tak terduga terjadi. In the tune of 'Dilema' by Nora and Vince.

"Alang-alang menyeluk pekasam, biar sampai ke pangkal lengan wo-ho-ho-o-oh."
...said to encourage an activity we are doing. In the tune of M. Nasir's song 'Mentera Semerah Padi'.

"Hai, boleh kita berkenalan?"
Cheesy pickup line I've been dared to use many times. I have never used it. Yet.

The various versions of words for slightly differing situations. Like 'seret' and 'heret', 'silau' and 'kilau', 'sepak', 'lempang', 'tampar', 'tempeleng' and 'lepuk'. Nice.

The 'lah' and 'kan' and the mysterious 'kot'.

In "jangan a," we know the 'a' comes from 'lah'. And in "takpe en?" the 'en' comes from 'kan'. But try thinking about where 'kot' comes from. I didn't sleep one night thinking about it. It is the biggest mystery in Bahasa Melayu.

KOT.

Now I will seek the counsel of one Ashhad Khan from Dubai, to teach me insults in Arabic.

Steve G. Lewis said he learnt Malay very quickly by learning the various applications of the 'pantats' and the 'pukimaks'.



Ana fi'lan jamil.

Chicago

I was only there two half days and one full day and I must say I'm impressed. Some may attest to that due to the fact that we were stranded for an hour in windy -10°C conditions waiting for a bus and it was 2:30A.M.

O'Hare airport is ridiculously far away but is somehow still connected to the subway system. Thta's probably the longest subway ride I ever had. 21 stops to the Loop. Yet it's an old city and so not many of the major hubs are connected. Union Station, for example, isn't. You have to take a bus. And I hate buses. And there are three freaking buildings with "Union Station" written on it. The station itself which houses the Amtrak. The old station whcih houses the Metra. And the parking lot (which I circled finding a way in but was confused since only cars could go in).

The public transportation system is a bitch only because of the ticketing and the 'no change given' policy of the machines. Minneapolis is king when it comes to that. And New York. But in Minneapolis, you could pay by card, thus cancelling out the need to have singles.

The Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory is to die for. If I had five minutes in Chicago, I'd tell everyone I know in the city to meet me there and order that.

The metallic bean is pretty yet pretty ugly.

It's not as windy as it's nickname suggests. And that could be overrated.

The University of Chicago is pretty, and small, and kinda nice. But they rejected me so I'll still be bitter as hell towards them.

The signage is shitty. Attractions and hubs should have better signages.

The streets are wide. And I like that. It feels airy and roomy. Unlike Shittsburgh and Manhattan.

Other than that, sama je dengan bandar lain.

Things You Can't Learn From Reading A Book

+ The experience of an accident.

I was 'lucky' enough, in my first month as a Malaysian P-licence holder, to be able to experience a long distance drive at night (Tuas, Johor - Home, Kuala Lumpur; 4 hours; 400+km) as well as an accident which involved a motorcyclist whose bike was pretty damaged and who couldn't walk for two days.

I was driving my beloved - the red Mitsubishi Space Gear or as fondly known to us, the red van - to class one day. I was with my roommate Fadzrul, and as usual (at that period of time) Paris Hilton's Stars are Blind was practically on all the radio stations, and we'd spend the ride cursing. I was singalling right to turn into the Section 17, Shah Alam flat carpark. From the opposite direction, a car looked like it was about to turn left into the same carpark I was headed. It was signalling to the left. When the driver looked at me nonchalantly, I thought she was giving me right of way. So I turn right. But as the van moves into the next lane, a fucking kapcai appears from behind the car, swerves around it and, seeing the big red van block his way, brakes and slides sideways and rams the hood of my van. I was half-way turned in, and he hit me from a 10- or 11-o'clock direction.

His side rammed me. It was just so surreal. A bike sliding and skidding, rider looking like he's trying his best to control his machine. Bike ramming into the van. He bounces up and his helmet hits the windscreen. I brake hard. He's lying on the road screaming, squirming, hands on his legs.

The taking care of him and trying to do something to right your wrong. The guilt. The nervy feeling. The "it wasn't my fault, saya mangsa keadaaan je!" feeling. Knowing nobody's gonna believe you. Going to the clinic and seeing his parents' dismay; looking at the way they look at me; promising them I'd pay for the X-ray and whatever medication and then walking out because I was too shaken. Being chased by his father as I tried to make it to class. Being told to pay the bill. The confrontation/compensation once he could walk - ketuk handle motor bengkok: RM100, seminggu tak boleh kerja: RM50 sudeh... The mark on the van. Damn, it was cute.