I will not dwell on what the hell is a Carnegie, a Mellon (not melon with one L like the fruit), or a university. You are all smart enough to use Wikipedia. And to the "my school is older and more steeped in tradition than yours" brigade, I will not say much on age because while we may not be as old as some of you, we are a damn sight better than most of you. I also won't talk about how awesome or shit we are in terms of graduate debts or employability or how much better or shit our Philosophy 101 is compared to yours. Let's talk only about what our eyes can see.
Many people look at our main campus here in Pittsburgh and comment on how tiny we are. Yes. If you look at the campus on Google Maps, you can see that if you divide it into a 3 x 3 grid, the athletics track is just enough to fill one of the squares. So we are as big as nine 400 m tracks. We are bordered by Forbes Ave., Frew St., Neville St./Boundary St. (how ironic), and Margaret Morrison St. on the north, south, west and east respectively. Boundary St. to Margaret Morrison St. is a little less than 800 m or half a mile or three traffic lights. That is a good thing, the smallness of this place. We only have slightly over 1,000 per class. I've high-fived everyone else in the Class of 2011; everyone kind of knows everyone. And--most importantly--you can wake up at 9:15 AM, get dressed, slip and fall on the icy sidewalks, chat up the sweet girl who helps to pick up your bag, buy a cup of coffee, and still make it on time for your 9:30.
I arrived here in August 2007 amidst so much talk of how bad the food is and how only years before it was ranked among the five worst in terms of on-campus dining. The landscaping was also horrible. Added to the fact that this is a school notorious for its workload and workaholics, it didn't seem like fun. Of course much of that has been fixed--food is bearable, but the landscaping is ambiguous.
The biggest shock of all for the CMU populace was the Walk To The Sky statue--probably still is. For starters, it's a 30-foot metal pole sticking out of the ground at an angle, very much like a guy lying on his back having an erection (there has been talk of a 30-foot condom). Now there are people (fake, obviously) walking upwards on this pole, hence, 'walk to the sky'. And at the pole's foot, there are three people (again, fake) just standing there, looking up at the men and women who are obviously thinking "the sky is the limit". I actually like it. But the fact that it's placed right at the front of CMU--in between the university center and the drama school--is just so...wrong. Sure, I like the fact that we don't have tacky Greek/Roman-like arches or signboards or even, God forbid, a guardhouse entrance with honest-to-goodness pak guards and mak guards. But a 30-foot erection that sways when the wind blows..? But it's nice, really. Not just because it is what it is; but also because it harbors idiots who will stand at the base, staring up at the skywalkers--or even idiots who think the three statues at the foot are real people who stand still for some artsy bullshit. It's true.
The next obvious tourist trap is The Fence. We have a fence right smack in the center of campus which we paint almost every night. Yes, it is a different color almost every day. The previous fence was wooden and so collapsed under its own weight. It still holds the Guinness World Record for "Most Painted Object". Many CMU departments keep pieces or flakes of paint from the old fence as memorabilia, just like many people do the Berlin Wall. Anyway, the new fence is steel and concrete, and fence painting is as spirited as ever as we try to beat the record of the old fence. Anyone, or any organization or club or dorm can paint the fence. People advertise their meetings, their national days, their names, their dorms, they do it just because. Painting can only be done after midnight until before sunrise; paintbrushes only, spray painting is considered vandalism; and at least two people must guard the fence to avoid others from 'taking' it. Some frats or clubs build tents or sheds around the fence so they can have 24/7 watchdogs. You can, however, strike a deal with the people holding the fence and borrow it for a day.
But this campus actually has some surprises up it's sleeve. As Phua, Dian, NJ and all 13 visitors from Wisconsin will attest, the carvings on the front of the College of Fine Arts building has quite an interesting history behind it (pun intended). The architect was paid less than the original deal so he passive-aggressively replied by making one subtle change that haunts us to this day. On the left-most carving, above all the pillars are heads with different expressions. But one of them aren't heads. No, it's a pair of buttocks (now you get the pun), sticking out, taunting us "fuck you for not paying me enough". Inside the CFA, the ceiling is something from one of those buildings from The Vatican. No, not The Creation of Adam from the Sistine Chapel. But it's awfully pretty nonetheless.
Between CFA and Tepper, you'll see a partially hidden garden. As you go up the not-so-maze-not-so-garden-trail pathway, you'll reach a white abstract-shaped platform with numbers on it scattered in random order. This is our Number Garden. Looking south, there'll be this artsy thing from God knows who which I find to be rather smart. It's a quote of someone quoting someone else by the name of Eddington on his thoughts of the direction of time and the law of entropy. Eddington surmises that if we choose to walk backwards, it would be as if time went backwards too. The quote is written backwards; first word last/last word first. And that is pretty cool.
For a small area, we have barely enough space for our buildings. The new Gates School of Computer Science is near completion and hopefully it'll be as pretty on the inside as it is on the outside; and also as high-tech as they say it to be. And hopefully once the tractors and trucks have gone, they'd erect mini-parks or gardens around it just to appease our eyes. But if you stroll around campus and look carefully--really carefully--you would find all sorts of wonderful things: mini-gardens for a nap or a cigarette break, tucked neatly in the corners of buildings; sculptures and statues hidden by years of vegetation or simply just not strategically located; a stairway to a basement walkway that's hidden by an odd bush; a plastic (I think) 'snowman'; concrete mushrooms; and many more. We obviously can't compete with seaside campuses or those with lakes and fields and forests--believe it or not, we don't even have a fountain. But at least whatever our problems are it's because we lack them, not because we overdid them. All I can say is that for what we are, we're pretty nice.
Many people look at our main campus here in Pittsburgh and comment on how tiny we are. Yes. If you look at the campus on Google Maps, you can see that if you divide it into a 3 x 3 grid, the athletics track is just enough to fill one of the squares. So we are as big as nine 400 m tracks. We are bordered by Forbes Ave., Frew St., Neville St./Boundary St. (how ironic), and Margaret Morrison St. on the north, south, west and east respectively. Boundary St. to Margaret Morrison St. is a little less than 800 m or half a mile or three traffic lights. That is a good thing, the smallness of this place. We only have slightly over 1,000 per class. I've high-fived everyone else in the Class of 2011; everyone kind of knows everyone. And--most importantly--you can wake up at 9:15 AM, get dressed, slip and fall on the icy sidewalks, chat up the sweet girl who helps to pick up your bag, buy a cup of coffee, and still make it on time for your 9:30.
I arrived here in August 2007 amidst so much talk of how bad the food is and how only years before it was ranked among the five worst in terms of on-campus dining. The landscaping was also horrible. Added to the fact that this is a school notorious for its workload and workaholics, it didn't seem like fun. Of course much of that has been fixed--food is bearable, but the landscaping is ambiguous.
The biggest shock of all for the CMU populace was the Walk To The Sky statue--probably still is. For starters, it's a 30-foot metal pole sticking out of the ground at an angle, very much like a guy lying on his back having an erection (there has been talk of a 30-foot condom). Now there are people (fake, obviously) walking upwards on this pole, hence, 'walk to the sky'. And at the pole's foot, there are three people (again, fake) just standing there, looking up at the men and women who are obviously thinking "the sky is the limit". I actually like it. But the fact that it's placed right at the front of CMU--in between the university center and the drama school--is just so...wrong. Sure, I like the fact that we don't have tacky Greek/Roman-like arches or signboards or even, God forbid, a guardhouse entrance with honest-to-goodness pak guards and mak guards. But a 30-foot erection that sways when the wind blows..? But it's nice, really. Not just because it is what it is; but also because it harbors idiots who will stand at the base, staring up at the skywalkers--or even idiots who think the three statues at the foot are real people who stand still for some artsy bullshit. It's true.
The next obvious tourist trap is The Fence. We have a fence right smack in the center of campus which we paint almost every night. Yes, it is a different color almost every day. The previous fence was wooden and so collapsed under its own weight. It still holds the Guinness World Record for "Most Painted Object". Many CMU departments keep pieces or flakes of paint from the old fence as memorabilia, just like many people do the Berlin Wall. Anyway, the new fence is steel and concrete, and fence painting is as spirited as ever as we try to beat the record of the old fence. Anyone, or any organization or club or dorm can paint the fence. People advertise their meetings, their national days, their names, their dorms, they do it just because. Painting can only be done after midnight until before sunrise; paintbrushes only, spray painting is considered vandalism; and at least two people must guard the fence to avoid others from 'taking' it. Some frats or clubs build tents or sheds around the fence so they can have 24/7 watchdogs. You can, however, strike a deal with the people holding the fence and borrow it for a day.
But this campus actually has some surprises up it's sleeve. As Phua, Dian, NJ and all 13 visitors from Wisconsin will attest, the carvings on the front of the College of Fine Arts building has quite an interesting history behind it (pun intended). The architect was paid less than the original deal so he passive-aggressively replied by making one subtle change that haunts us to this day. On the left-most carving, above all the pillars are heads with different expressions. But one of them aren't heads. No, it's a pair of buttocks (now you get the pun), sticking out, taunting us "fuck you for not paying me enough". Inside the CFA, the ceiling is something from one of those buildings from The Vatican. No, not The Creation of Adam from the Sistine Chapel. But it's awfully pretty nonetheless.
Between CFA and Tepper, you'll see a partially hidden garden. As you go up the not-so-maze-not-so-garden-trail pathway, you'll reach a white abstract-shaped platform with numbers on it scattered in random order. This is our Number Garden. Looking south, there'll be this artsy thing from God knows who which I find to be rather smart. It's a quote of someone quoting someone else by the name of Eddington on his thoughts of the direction of time and the law of entropy. Eddington surmises that if we choose to walk backwards, it would be as if time went backwards too. The quote is written backwards; first word last/last word first. And that is pretty cool.
For a small area, we have barely enough space for our buildings. The new Gates School of Computer Science is near completion and hopefully it'll be as pretty on the inside as it is on the outside; and also as high-tech as they say it to be. And hopefully once the tractors and trucks have gone, they'd erect mini-parks or gardens around it just to appease our eyes. But if you stroll around campus and look carefully--really carefully--you would find all sorts of wonderful things: mini-gardens for a nap or a cigarette break, tucked neatly in the corners of buildings; sculptures and statues hidden by years of vegetation or simply just not strategically located; a stairway to a basement walkway that's hidden by an odd bush; a plastic (I think) 'snowman'; concrete mushrooms; and many more. We obviously can't compete with seaside campuses or those with lakes and fields and forests--believe it or not, we don't even have a fountain. But at least whatever our problems are it's because we lack them, not because we overdid them. All I can say is that for what we are, we're pretty nice.
1 comment:
CARNAGE Mellon! You forgot to include that.
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