Pengaruh Rakan Sebaya (Ahmad Nazmi)

I have an exam in 4 hours but I guess breakfast isn't quite enough to get the study mood to kick in. And then I found this from Gokun so I decided to have a go. It's interesting (for me, at least) since it's an adventure-type quiz. Answers are pretty hit-and-miss but what the hell.

Your view on yourself: You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
YA! Saya agak tertarik dengan petikan ini.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Babi ah, baru je gelakkan Gokun...sekali tengok dapat sama. Cis.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.
*Tergamam*

The seriousness of your love: You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
*Angguk bersetuju, namun sedikit takut akan ketepatannya*

Your views on education: Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
Yang ini mungkin sedikit dusta.

The right job for you: You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
Tapi saya gemar berkhayal...

How do you view success: You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
Jikalau ekonomi Malaysia jahanam (dalam 5-10 tahun akan datang), siapakah yang anda akan salahkan?

What are you most afraid of: You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
This is why I don't trust many people.

Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Ayat pertama itu agak membanggakan. Ayat kedua sudah kurang tepat kebelakangan ini. Ayat ketiga itu sangat tepat.

Giving Back to Society: Netgear MP101 & Windows Vista

If you have a Netgear MP101 Wireless Digital Music Player and can't play it/have problems with it on a Windows Vista server, that's because the firmware isn't compatible and Vista has different network timing (MTU). Netgear has withdrew support for the out-of-life product and some awesome guys from the MP101 fan club have made their own firmware for Vista users. Here's how you could fix your MP101:

1. Download the following folder (1.4.7 beta.rar) on an XP computer with the Netgear server software installed. In case you lost the bundled server, I have also linked it from Netgear's website.
2. Un-RAR the folder and copy both files (NG.vr and VA1.4.7RNG.2.img) into: Program Files\Netgear\Update. This has to be done on a computer with XP, and using Netgear's bundled software.
3. Get the MP101 to connect to the server on that XP computer and use its 'Update' function. It should go through without issue.

Unofficial Vista-compatible firmware:
http://www.2shared.com/file/4931350/78851d55/147_beta.html

Netgear Server Software:
ftp://downloads.netgear.com/files/MP101_S3_3_23.zip

This should fix the following problems on Vista:

• No ID3 tag reading (no song name, artist, etc.)
• Connection failure midway through a song.
• Can't continue to next track.

The MP101 is an awesome product that serves its purpose well. Its kind is now obsolete because people have stepped up their streaming to include HD video. For me, I bought the MP101 because I found an extra set of 2.1 speakers and decided I want music when I shower or take a dump. iPods don't have a remote I could use to change songs while in the shower.

To all of you out there who took the effort in making the 1.4.7 firmwre, thank you so much.

To anyone still faithful to a simple yet effective player as this, I hope this helps.

What I Learnt at PLKN Part II

Shazwan Azizan says:
tgh dload lagu patriotik

Liyana Zakaria says:
eh please la i dh muak dah lagu patriotik dkt plkn

Shazwan Azizan says:
i dah rindu

Liyana Zakaria says:
bangun siren pagi2 pun lagu patriotik

Shazwan Azizan says:
ibu pertiwi is the bomb

Liyana Zakaria says:
eee u bgn pagi2 siren apa?

Liyana Zakaria says:
bukan lagu2 cibai kan?

Liyana Zakaria says:
kalau lagu2 mcm i kena mesti dh taknak dengar bila habis plkn 3 bulan

Shazwan Azizan says:
siren biasa

Liyana Zakaria says:
haa ok la tu

Liyana Zakaria says:
u tk rasa apa i rasa

Shazwan Azizan says:
i met a girl who thratened me just because i was looking her direction

Shazwan Azizan says:
i met a guy who told us how he and his friends drugged and gang raped a girl

Shazwan Azizan says:
i met a guy who told us he helped a girl yg kena histeria and was posessed by some jin yg mati tak dikebumi betul2 so he had to ask his friend to kapan and tanamkan dia to appease the jin

Shazwan Azizan says:
i met kids who have no ambition in life

Liyana Zakaria says:
T_T

Shazwan Azizan says:
whether or not i tak rasa apa u rasa is irrelevant

Liyana Zakaria says:
u menang plkn siapa paling cibai

Shazwan Azizan says:
bukan cibai

Shazwan Azizan says:
but

Shazwan Azizan says:
kecewa

Shazwan Azizan says:
manusia mcm tu

Liyana Zakaria says:
T_T

Liyana Zakaria says:
its the experience we get


Right-O

My Apologies To My City

I know for sure there was a time when I hated this place. The weather. The public transportation. The not-too-big, not-too-small-ness of it (planes from our airport fly to Chicago via Detroit, to Detroit via Chicago, once even to New York via Detroit). It's too hilly (pedestrian unfriendly), lacks parking (too car unfriendly), and has a subway system that doesn't quite serve the areas you would think it should.

It did have some awesome sights though. I remember my first view of Pittsburgh. Coming from the airport, as you exit Fort Pitt tunnel, the city's skyline takes up your whole view. Downtown; the shiny PPG Place; Heinz Field in all its glory, looking like an alien spaceship; PNC Park; Carnegie Science Center. The rivers add a nice touch to it, too. I rarely say this about anything, but the view was breathtaking, as I sat in the 28X, trudging slowly beside the Monongahela. Later on in my first week I was introduced to the quaint neighborhood of Squirrel Hill, with all its shops and al fresco cafés.

But I guess that was it. The cold soon came and I became a hermit staying indoors. I blame the buses (canceled trips), I blame the cold, I blame me being hung up, I blame the lack of shops nearby CMU, I blame the difficulties of fitting in, I blame CMU, I blame a lot more; I blame a lot.

But maybe it's the friends I made. Maybe it's the Steelers. Heck, maybe even the Pirates! I'm sure it wasn't Mt. Washington: I've yet to get a nice view up there. I doubt it's CMU; I'll only love this place the very day I have to leave for good. Maybe it's the unveiling of a million different things to eat by choosing to go katok? Maybe it's the fact that some people actually think this place is awesome (albeit compared to their 'rural' campus towns). Maybe it's the independence of living in my own place. The myriad of bridges, possibly?

Someone joked that a friend of his said it was "a bore" over here--"nothing much, really". And that hurt. It struck home. But I am not moved by the fact that someone could say something like that and know that I can't say much in defense. Or that someone thinks little of The 'Burgh. What surprises me is that I am affected by those mere words. And that can only mean that I actually love my city. I love Pittsburgh.

This is long due, Steel City: I am sorry.

A Winter of Reflection

In three weeks I bummed around, was a tourist guide, was a parent to my parent, saw close to 30 movies, got my first-ever speeding ticket, saw the Amish, paid back a friend, and befriended a friendly cow.

I have learnt:
+ that I throw like a girl (I am big enough to admit this, Dian)
+ that listening to my favorite tunes makes me speed (Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas; the fine was $167.50)
+ that I apparently like cleaning and am quite okay with the idea of a surarumah
+ that cows are cute (or atleast they can be)
+ that US highways are quite confusing (an Interstate route can be a highway, yet a highway isn't necessarily an Interstate?)
+ that speeding tickets can be a bitch (I could've gotten a lovely camel coat from Banana Republic with that money)
+ that I love Pittsburgh despite all its shortcomings
+ that I don't quite like weed
+ that stand up comedy can be quite funny

2008-2009 Holiday Merayap List:
+ Niagara Falls, NY
+ Pocono Mountains & Milford, PA
+ Strasburg and Lancaster, PA
+ Ann Arbor, MI

2008-2009 Holiday Playlist:
+ Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
+ Australia
+ The Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
+ Happy Gilmore
+ Saving Silverman
+ Back to the Future 2
+ Back to the Future 3
+ Shrek
+ The Piano
+ I Love You, I Love You Not
+ Tropic Thunder
+ Batman
+ Something's Gotta Give
+ As Good As It Gets
+ Mamma Mia
+ The Prestige
+ Moulin Rouge!
+ The Family Stone
+ Family Guy Presents Blue Harvest
+ Before Sunrise
+ Frost/Nixon
+ The Shining
+ Doubt
+ One Fine Day
+ Before Sunset
+ Prelude to a Kiss
+ The Green Mile
+ Vicky Cristina Barcelona
+ Yes Man
+ The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

2008-2009 Holiday Book List:
+ A Brief History of Time - Stephen Hawking
+ Angels & Demons - Dan Brown (pointless to read if you haven't read the previous book)
+ The Gathering - Anne Enright

2008-2009 Holiday Bakar Duit List:
+ $360 Phenom X3 PC
+ $4 shirts at Banana Republic
(Both so cheap, in the wise words of Mama: berdosa kalau tak beli)


As interesting as it all may have been, it would've been pointless without the people I shared it with. Remember that, and don't ever forget =)

Mandul Shmandul: A Nightmare To Think About

Bad dreams are normal; you get one every now and then. But sometimes you get one which scares the shit outta you. The kind where you wake up in the middle of the night--or the next morning--with cold sweat, heart beating like a drum, muscles tensed, gripped with fear. You may get over it pretty soon, and just brush it off as just a dream. Or some of us freak out at how surreal some dreams may feel; like they were more of an epiphany or prophecy--an eerily possible view of how you'll end up--than they are just random images in your mind.

I've had one that's been bugging me for weeks now.

I enter my home in KL and am greeted by my 2-year old cousin Shahmi. He tries to talk to me in gibberish, probably trying to explain something he did earlier, and I try my best to play along but my attempts were all in vain. So I carry him and throw him in the air, lift him up and swing him around--the usual things you do to a baby; and he laughs, showing his crooked set of teeth. A while later I sit down and read a freshly received e-mail containing my full medical report. Doctor says apparently I'm perfectly healthy except for the itty-bitty fact that I'm sterile. Mandul. Peluru kapur. Shoot blanks.

I am scared. I panic. What does this mean? How did this happen? Why is it even happening to me? Where did I go wrong? What are the implications? How immasculating in this? How will this change the way people see me? Will every girl I fancy consider me a 'dead end' if they knew? Will I warm up to the idea of adopting? Would the lack of blood relation hold me back? So many questions flood me. So many.

I admit I do get emotional. I do overreact. But I don't question the unfairness of it. I am simply overwhelmed by thoughts of "so what now?" as I try to get some perspective on the matter at hand. And I get scared. Scared of being an outcast. Scared of being a dead end in my bloodline. Scared of the sociological impact it would have on me. But wait, it's not that big a deal. It's not that bad. After all, it only means that I can't--

And suddenly that little boy walks into the room and calls me chirpily. He points toward the porch and says "car... car". He has enthusiasm etched on his face. He has shoes on both feet. I stand there and just look at him squarely in the eyes. All he wants is to go out for a drive; to see the dogs out on a walk; to spend five or so minutes on playground rides. I am rendered motionless, still staring at him. I could feel the heat behind my eyes; slowly it builds up. I do not blink, not even wince. The image of him standing there, wondering what the hell is wrong with me, gets blurry. My throat tightens and when I swallow, a tear escapes my eye, leaving a trail of warmth as it drifts down my cheek. His smile is gone as he wonders what is wrong. I carry him and tell him "Not today, Shahmi. Not today". And as I walk away with him firmly in my arms, my fingers twirling his ridiculously curly hair, I can't help but think 'so close, yet so far'.

I am now sad. Sad that a huge portion of the future has been rendered impossible for me. That even if I wanted to, it would never be my 'flesh and blood'. I called a friend and shared the news. I had nothing more to say other than that, and I doubt anyone I knew knew what to say in response to something like that. They can try, but they would never understand. Just like how I wouldn't understand the feeling of someone whose parents got divorced or someone who suffered the death of a close one. I know that, and they know that, and we know that the other knows too. Sometimes we feel it is unfair for people to expect so much from us when they tell us things we could never understand. But it is unfair for them to have friends--close friends--yet feel so alone. We may not even be able to comprehend what they are going through, but when someone tells you something private, something personal, something intimate, it is pretty evident they trust you would be a good listening ear. For many people, just getting it off their chests is all they want, despite it not being nearly enough help. The friend and I meet up with two others and nobody says a word. They know I just need the company. I know they have a joint on them and duly ask for it: breaking tradition as well as breaking the silence. I finally start talking. As to why I dream of this, I can't quite say. I admit I've wanted to try it before, but somehow I've never really gotten to it. I probably would some time soon, but maybe I'll save it for days like this.

Later on I try to calm myself (as well as do the right thing) by calling my mother. I tell her the news. She laughs thinking I'm joking, that I have nothing better to do. I tell her again. She tells me to stop it, she wasn't born yesterday. I get tired just at the thought that from now on I have to convince people that I am one in a million; that this has indeed happened to me. "I will never provide a single cucu for you". The silence on the other end of the line tells me she has finally digested it. Maybe it was the choice of words, maybe the tone; I don't know. She is apologetic and sympathetic at first, but being a mother it is only natural for her to be protective of her child. "Listen..." she begins, obviously lost for words. "It's not the end of the world. Yes, it does mean something la obviously, but...I dunno lah. Don't think about it too much for now". I told her I'm fine but babysitting a baby is really kind of rubbing it in. She said adoption may seem weird because of the lack of a pregnancy. But in time, nobody notices.

What else was she gonna say, anyway? What else could she say that wasn't condescending? I am not that worried yet of issues I should deal with in the future. It's just that I've just been dealt a bitter blow and would very much like the time to lie down and sulk. I look at the little twerp and I am reminded of my blood relationship (or lack thereof) with him. But I love him just the same. With one arm I grab him as he walks by and I make him sit on my lap. He doesn't like it so he takes my phone and talks to my mom, looking so serious like a man on a mission. Pada hal melalut je lebih. I am amused by this.

Hmm, I guess if I could learn to love a not-so-cousin, adoption should be okay then. But the lines are blurred somewhat. He wasn't adopted, he is his parents' child. I'm just not blood related to his father or mother. Adoption... taking someone else's child. They won't have your features. None of your genes. And you know that somewhere out there is a man with the kid's eyes and a woman with the kid's nose.

Mama is fed up of listening to Shahmi's gibberish. Suddenly it hits me. The answer to my problem(s). The meaning of life (mine, at least). The solution. It may or may not be genius but it's enough for something to look forward to; especially when that something could come from nothing. I uncurl his puny little fingers from the phone.

"Single mother".

...And He Takes The Lead!

With the addition of two pairs of ridiculously discounted shoes from adidas during the Black Friday sale, I now lead Dian 18-16 in our ongoing Perang Kasut.

The score, however, will not remain the same for long, as two or three pairs still in service will have to be retired. This shall make the task of keeping the lead a tricky one; it is unwise to rest on our laurels over a whisker-thin lead.

And we must never underestimate the willingness-to-buy of a girl who will never accept losing something like this to a guy.

But let's not let it rain on our parade. I now have the lead.

Ladies & Gentlemen, This Woman Is Awesome!

If you have the opportunity, take the time to read Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss. It's a best-selling book about punctuation. Yes. Punctuation.

The author is, in many ways, my hero. Admitting to a severe case of obsession on punctuation, she has always had a thing against the wrongful treatment of apostrophes, hyphens, brackets and ellipses. With her rallying cry "sticklers unite!" she calls upon people everywhere to unleash their inner stickler and correct the moronic punctuation errors we see: misplaced/missing apostrophes, confusion between it's and its, uneducated placement of commas, and many more. Much is also advocated about the colon and semi-colon: how their lack of use is slowly killing them off. Lynn Truss even took it upon herself to grab a marker (Sharpie, to you Americans) and apostrophise the horror that is the title of promotional posters for Two Weeks Notice.

Most of us have left school and lessons of grammar of any sort for quite some time now. While this book may not be a 'grammar bible' of sorts, it does point out the mistakes we fail to see, as well as the ambiguity of language in the modern day. Punctuation has come a long way since it was first introduced in the 15th century, and has many differing schools of thought and styles. In fact, more often than not, punctuation is more a question of style. However, there are some very interesting facts many of us never learnt.

For instance, 'Jones' in Bridget Jones's Diary quite rightly has a second s. Apparently, names that end in s do. Ancient names like Achilles and Archimedes, however, are an exception to the rule.

This is all hanky-panky bullshit, you say? Well, that's what separates people like you, and OCDs like us.

It Grows On You

I remember my first sip of ginger beer, which burns your throat if you're just a six year old. It wasn't nice. It tastes like ginger for God's sake! But then there was just something about the whole...flavor? Beneath the burning sensation in your throat, there's a very intriguing taste. I watered it down at first; and soon came to be at ease with something so vulgar. It grew on me.

Then came Schweppes' Bitter Lemon. It was bitter, yes. And sour. Biting a whole lemon, and chewing its skin, wouldn't be as unpleasant as your first ever sip. And it seemed exotic, too (in Malaysia, at least), which made it so much more appealing. I personally like anything citrus. So once I got past the bitterness, that drink was a joy to me. It grew on me.

Then came Dr. Pepper. All I could say after one swag was "this tastes like shit!" to which my brother replied "more for me la, then. Sedap sial benda ni". That was years ago. Probably a lifetime or two. I can't quite put my finger on what about that medicine-like taste that makes it so addictive. Was it cherry? Was it some cough syrup derivative? Although technically I could Google it, I can't quite be bothered about it now. For reasons I myself do not know, I kept trying Dr. Pepper throughout the years. Some time a couple of years back (when Cold Storage BSC imported them and sold them for a ridiculous RM3 each, with Fariz being the only customer) I suddenly enjoyed it. But it had to be chilled, and not watered down. And now Wal-Mart sells a crate of 24 for only $6.50. So this week my breakfasts, lunches and dinners are graced by you know what. It grew on me; but this time it's gone a little too far.

I could say the same about pineapple juice. Drink it once and your face will most likely turn into that of a horse's. Fresh pineapple juice, that is. None of those preservative- , coloring- and flavor-spiked bullshit. I never quite hated it, but I never quite liked it either. But somehow something about it got me hooked. It grew on me.

My drink preferences may not be of any interest to you or anyone for that matter. But the thing is, here is a list of things I either hated or was indifferent to; and now I swear by them. Why do we keep trying something we don't quite enjoy and then end up liking them? "It grows on me," you say, now that you're hooked. Why did you let it grow on you if you didn't like it in the first place? Unless we're forced to, we don't have to say, eat, drink or do anything we don't like; but why is it that we keep itching to opt for something we know we don't?

Some things we just can't explain. They just happen. That's life. And, well, it grows on you.

Calling All Who Speak Bahasa Melayu: BM TLAs

TLAs.

Three-letter acronyms. Not necessarily three--like 'ttyl'--but three is usually the case so yeah. I am a staunch advocate of the identity and purity of Bahasa Melayu. I may not be good at it (hence this post being in English), but reading something from say, A. Samad Said for instance, gives you the impression that he is of an exotic tongue. It's not him, really. He just speaks in non-borrowed Malay; no emansipasi or informasi or efektif bullshit. It's what has become of BM today.

But my point here isn't to tell you to learn a new rare Malay word a day or use a pepatah at least once a day. As discussed on the facebook group Saya Suka Bahasa Melayu!, I would like to share Malay versions of everyday TLAs. Some have been modified to suit the Malay language/culture.

OMG = OTK - oh, tuhanku!
LOL = GSH - gelak sekuat hati
ROTFL = KTBSSP - ketawa terbahak-bahak sampai senak perut
FYI = UPA - untuk pengetahuan anda
AKA = JDS - juga dikenali sebagai
GTG = SHP - saya harus pergi = AKB - aku kena blah
PDA = TTM - tak tau malu
BTW = DSI - di samping itu
WTF/WTH = ALS - apa lancau, sial
TTYL = CDKN - cakap dengan kamu/kau nanti
IMHO/IMO = PPS - pada pendapat saya
XOXO = CPCP - cium peluk cium peluk (not really a TLA but well...)

And here are some which do not have English equivalents.

NTE - nangis teresak-esak
STR/SMR - sakit teraung-raung/meraung-raung

Too much stress has been put on our language's rightful name--Bahasa Melayu or Bahasa Malaysia? Despite what this government may choose, you just get the feeling some time in the future they or a different one would change it yet again. Yet not much has been said, much less done, by us Malaysians and Malays to protect what is ours. Of course language will evolve with the times, but one could not help but feel responsible for the direction in which BM is headed. If we let the language slip, God forbid, who would give two hoots to save it?