Mandul Shmandul: A Nightmare To Think About

Bad dreams are normal; you get one every now and then. But sometimes you get one which scares the shit outta you. The kind where you wake up in the middle of the night--or the next morning--with cold sweat, heart beating like a drum, muscles tensed, gripped with fear. You may get over it pretty soon, and just brush it off as just a dream. Or some of us freak out at how surreal some dreams may feel; like they were more of an epiphany or prophecy--an eerily possible view of how you'll end up--than they are just random images in your mind.

I've had one that's been bugging me for weeks now.

I enter my home in KL and am greeted by my 2-year old cousin Shahmi. He tries to talk to me in gibberish, probably trying to explain something he did earlier, and I try my best to play along but my attempts were all in vain. So I carry him and throw him in the air, lift him up and swing him around--the usual things you do to a baby; and he laughs, showing his crooked set of teeth. A while later I sit down and read a freshly received e-mail containing my full medical report. Doctor says apparently I'm perfectly healthy except for the itty-bitty fact that I'm sterile. Mandul. Peluru kapur. Shoot blanks.

I am scared. I panic. What does this mean? How did this happen? Why is it even happening to me? Where did I go wrong? What are the implications? How immasculating in this? How will this change the way people see me? Will every girl I fancy consider me a 'dead end' if they knew? Will I warm up to the idea of adopting? Would the lack of blood relation hold me back? So many questions flood me. So many.

I admit I do get emotional. I do overreact. But I don't question the unfairness of it. I am simply overwhelmed by thoughts of "so what now?" as I try to get some perspective on the matter at hand. And I get scared. Scared of being an outcast. Scared of being a dead end in my bloodline. Scared of the sociological impact it would have on me. But wait, it's not that big a deal. It's not that bad. After all, it only means that I can't--

And suddenly that little boy walks into the room and calls me chirpily. He points toward the porch and says "car... car". He has enthusiasm etched on his face. He has shoes on both feet. I stand there and just look at him squarely in the eyes. All he wants is to go out for a drive; to see the dogs out on a walk; to spend five or so minutes on playground rides. I am rendered motionless, still staring at him. I could feel the heat behind my eyes; slowly it builds up. I do not blink, not even wince. The image of him standing there, wondering what the hell is wrong with me, gets blurry. My throat tightens and when I swallow, a tear escapes my eye, leaving a trail of warmth as it drifts down my cheek. His smile is gone as he wonders what is wrong. I carry him and tell him "Not today, Shahmi. Not today". And as I walk away with him firmly in my arms, my fingers twirling his ridiculously curly hair, I can't help but think 'so close, yet so far'.

I am now sad. Sad that a huge portion of the future has been rendered impossible for me. That even if I wanted to, it would never be my 'flesh and blood'. I called a friend and shared the news. I had nothing more to say other than that, and I doubt anyone I knew knew what to say in response to something like that. They can try, but they would never understand. Just like how I wouldn't understand the feeling of someone whose parents got divorced or someone who suffered the death of a close one. I know that, and they know that, and we know that the other knows too. Sometimes we feel it is unfair for people to expect so much from us when they tell us things we could never understand. But it is unfair for them to have friends--close friends--yet feel so alone. We may not even be able to comprehend what they are going through, but when someone tells you something private, something personal, something intimate, it is pretty evident they trust you would be a good listening ear. For many people, just getting it off their chests is all they want, despite it not being nearly enough help. The friend and I meet up with two others and nobody says a word. They know I just need the company. I know they have a joint on them and duly ask for it: breaking tradition as well as breaking the silence. I finally start talking. As to why I dream of this, I can't quite say. I admit I've wanted to try it before, but somehow I've never really gotten to it. I probably would some time soon, but maybe I'll save it for days like this.

Later on I try to calm myself (as well as do the right thing) by calling my mother. I tell her the news. She laughs thinking I'm joking, that I have nothing better to do. I tell her again. She tells me to stop it, she wasn't born yesterday. I get tired just at the thought that from now on I have to convince people that I am one in a million; that this has indeed happened to me. "I will never provide a single cucu for you". The silence on the other end of the line tells me she has finally digested it. Maybe it was the choice of words, maybe the tone; I don't know. She is apologetic and sympathetic at first, but being a mother it is only natural for her to be protective of her child. "Listen..." she begins, obviously lost for words. "It's not the end of the world. Yes, it does mean something la obviously, but...I dunno lah. Don't think about it too much for now". I told her I'm fine but babysitting a baby is really kind of rubbing it in. She said adoption may seem weird because of the lack of a pregnancy. But in time, nobody notices.

What else was she gonna say, anyway? What else could she say that wasn't condescending? I am not that worried yet of issues I should deal with in the future. It's just that I've just been dealt a bitter blow and would very much like the time to lie down and sulk. I look at the little twerp and I am reminded of my blood relationship (or lack thereof) with him. But I love him just the same. With one arm I grab him as he walks by and I make him sit on my lap. He doesn't like it so he takes my phone and talks to my mom, looking so serious like a man on a mission. Pada hal melalut je lebih. I am amused by this.

Hmm, I guess if I could learn to love a not-so-cousin, adoption should be okay then. But the lines are blurred somewhat. He wasn't adopted, he is his parents' child. I'm just not blood related to his father or mother. Adoption... taking someone else's child. They won't have your features. None of your genes. And you know that somewhere out there is a man with the kid's eyes and a woman with the kid's nose.

Mama is fed up of listening to Shahmi's gibberish. Suddenly it hits me. The answer to my problem(s). The meaning of life (mine, at least). The solution. It may or may not be genius but it's enough for something to look forward to; especially when that something could come from nothing. I uncurl his puny little fingers from the phone.

"Single mother".

...And He Takes The Lead!

With the addition of two pairs of ridiculously discounted shoes from adidas during the Black Friday sale, I now lead Dian 18-16 in our ongoing Perang Kasut.

The score, however, will not remain the same for long, as two or three pairs still in service will have to be retired. This shall make the task of keeping the lead a tricky one; it is unwise to rest on our laurels over a whisker-thin lead.

And we must never underestimate the willingness-to-buy of a girl who will never accept losing something like this to a guy.

But let's not let it rain on our parade. I now have the lead.

Ladies & Gentlemen, This Woman Is Awesome!

If you have the opportunity, take the time to read Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss. It's a best-selling book about punctuation. Yes. Punctuation.

The author is, in many ways, my hero. Admitting to a severe case of obsession on punctuation, she has always had a thing against the wrongful treatment of apostrophes, hyphens, brackets and ellipses. With her rallying cry "sticklers unite!" she calls upon people everywhere to unleash their inner stickler and correct the moronic punctuation errors we see: misplaced/missing apostrophes, confusion between it's and its, uneducated placement of commas, and many more. Much is also advocated about the colon and semi-colon: how their lack of use is slowly killing them off. Lynn Truss even took it upon herself to grab a marker (Sharpie, to you Americans) and apostrophise the horror that is the title of promotional posters for Two Weeks Notice.

Most of us have left school and lessons of grammar of any sort for quite some time now. While this book may not be a 'grammar bible' of sorts, it does point out the mistakes we fail to see, as well as the ambiguity of language in the modern day. Punctuation has come a long way since it was first introduced in the 15th century, and has many differing schools of thought and styles. In fact, more often than not, punctuation is more a question of style. However, there are some very interesting facts many of us never learnt.

For instance, 'Jones' in Bridget Jones's Diary quite rightly has a second s. Apparently, names that end in s do. Ancient names like Achilles and Archimedes, however, are an exception to the rule.

This is all hanky-panky bullshit, you say? Well, that's what separates people like you, and OCDs like us.

It Grows On You

I remember my first sip of ginger beer, which burns your throat if you're just a six year old. It wasn't nice. It tastes like ginger for God's sake! But then there was just something about the whole...flavor? Beneath the burning sensation in your throat, there's a very intriguing taste. I watered it down at first; and soon came to be at ease with something so vulgar. It grew on me.

Then came Schweppes' Bitter Lemon. It was bitter, yes. And sour. Biting a whole lemon, and chewing its skin, wouldn't be as unpleasant as your first ever sip. And it seemed exotic, too (in Malaysia, at least), which made it so much more appealing. I personally like anything citrus. So once I got past the bitterness, that drink was a joy to me. It grew on me.

Then came Dr. Pepper. All I could say after one swag was "this tastes like shit!" to which my brother replied "more for me la, then. Sedap sial benda ni". That was years ago. Probably a lifetime or two. I can't quite put my finger on what about that medicine-like taste that makes it so addictive. Was it cherry? Was it some cough syrup derivative? Although technically I could Google it, I can't quite be bothered about it now. For reasons I myself do not know, I kept trying Dr. Pepper throughout the years. Some time a couple of years back (when Cold Storage BSC imported them and sold them for a ridiculous RM3 each, with Fariz being the only customer) I suddenly enjoyed it. But it had to be chilled, and not watered down. And now Wal-Mart sells a crate of 24 for only $6.50. So this week my breakfasts, lunches and dinners are graced by you know what. It grew on me; but this time it's gone a little too far.

I could say the same about pineapple juice. Drink it once and your face will most likely turn into that of a horse's. Fresh pineapple juice, that is. None of those preservative- , coloring- and flavor-spiked bullshit. I never quite hated it, but I never quite liked it either. But somehow something about it got me hooked. It grew on me.

My drink preferences may not be of any interest to you or anyone for that matter. But the thing is, here is a list of things I either hated or was indifferent to; and now I swear by them. Why do we keep trying something we don't quite enjoy and then end up liking them? "It grows on me," you say, now that you're hooked. Why did you let it grow on you if you didn't like it in the first place? Unless we're forced to, we don't have to say, eat, drink or do anything we don't like; but why is it that we keep itching to opt for something we know we don't?

Some things we just can't explain. They just happen. That's life. And, well, it grows on you.

Calling All Who Speak Bahasa Melayu: BM TLAs

TLAs.

Three-letter acronyms. Not necessarily three--like 'ttyl'--but three is usually the case so yeah. I am a staunch advocate of the identity and purity of Bahasa Melayu. I may not be good at it (hence this post being in English), but reading something from say, A. Samad Said for instance, gives you the impression that he is of an exotic tongue. It's not him, really. He just speaks in non-borrowed Malay; no emansipasi or informasi or efektif bullshit. It's what has become of BM today.

But my point here isn't to tell you to learn a new rare Malay word a day or use a pepatah at least once a day. As discussed on the facebook group Saya Suka Bahasa Melayu!, I would like to share Malay versions of everyday TLAs. Some have been modified to suit the Malay language/culture.

OMG = OTK - oh, tuhanku!
LOL = GSH - gelak sekuat hati
ROTFL = KTBSSP - ketawa terbahak-bahak sampai senak perut
FYI = UPA - untuk pengetahuan anda
AKA = JDS - juga dikenali sebagai
GTG = SHP - saya harus pergi = AKB - aku kena blah
PDA = TTM - tak tau malu
BTW = DSI - di samping itu
WTF/WTH = ALS - apa lancau, sial
TTYL = CDKN - cakap dengan kamu/kau nanti
IMHO/IMO = PPS - pada pendapat saya
XOXO = CPCP - cium peluk cium peluk (not really a TLA but well...)

And here are some which do not have English equivalents.

NTE - nangis teresak-esak
STR/SMR - sakit teraung-raung/meraung-raung

Too much stress has been put on our language's rightful name--Bahasa Melayu or Bahasa Malaysia? Despite what this government may choose, you just get the feeling some time in the future they or a different one would change it yet again. Yet not much has been said, much less done, by us Malaysians and Malays to protect what is ours. Of course language will evolve with the times, but one could not help but feel responsible for the direction in which BM is headed. If we let the language slip, God forbid, who would give two hoots to save it?

Maybe I'm Still Not Over You

Of course, like any self-respecting person who's suffered a loss against his own will, I have tried so many things to move on. Move on. It sounds so simple. But it isn't, is it?

Just yesterday I thought not only am I head over heels for the new precious one, I thought I was a changed person: all the habits and taking for granted of yesteryear was now put to bed with the emergence of newer ones.

But suddenly, just as we're beginning to enjoy that lovely dream, we wake up to the realization that we are no better or worse off than when we went to sleep last night. Back to step one, some might say. Case in point being you do or say something that is wildly reminiscent of those habits you thought were long gone. Like the shocking reappearance of the coelacanth after 65 million years, you suddenly mouth an immensely personal and intimate inside joke from the past with the new loved one. You then think 'shit, here I am and she's no lesser than the previous one yet...'.

...yet?

...yet?

...yet?

Memories. Ahh, such lovely things they are: the passion and soul of life. Nothing's perfect. If you have a lovely vase with hairline fractures here and there, but you love it, you'd think it's the perfectest thing on the face of this Earth.....until it breaks and you get yourself another one (similar, due to your taste) and begin to think the broken one was indeed a little 'leaky', just so you could convince yourself that this new, perfecter one deserves your utmost love and care and concern and not the memory--however sweet--of the broken one. Whether you're good at convincing yourself or not is irrelevant.

My point here is that when you reminisce and compare two (or more) things of equal value to you, the one with more sentimental value would always win. It's the gone-but-not-forgottenness about it that would make it hard for a newer one to win you over.

Which is why this summer, although iffy about it at first, I came to enjoy the larger, wider, longer, heavier, thirstier, tinted MPV with huge-ass low profile tyres which made the ride a pain in the ass (literally and figuratively). I had to adapt to the gear stick being on the center console like in most cars. I had to get used to its more sluggish acceleration. I had to be more careful when steering as it was front wheel drive.

Just yesterday I realized that every time I park the mammoth Toyota Alphard in my one-car porch, it's always--and I mean always--perfectly straight. The wheels are parallel with the tiles on the floor. I do it without trying. It just happens. I can confidently make U-turns without slowing down and inching forward, scared I might hit a kerb or something. It's like the Alphard and I are one. Symbiosis or something like that. Also, I've hit a kerb with those precious 19-inch rims. And I have reversed into a broken divider that I wasn't able to see. Nice enough, I've left my mark on the MPV.

Just this evening, I discovered a 'coelacanth'. I hopped inside the Alphard and fired up the engine. Perfectly normal. Seatbelt, iPod plugged in, gate opened. Then I pulled at the wiper lever downwards. I would have done that a year ago on the old Mitsubishi Delica Space Gear as its gear lever is there on the steering column. No biggie. Re-place the wiper lever and just pull the gear stick into R as I do on almost every other day and get on with it. But as I ease away I realize how much I miss that irritating afterthought reverse sensor beep of yours. With that the flood gates open and those past memories all come back to me involuntarily, and suddenly my left thumb is twitching as if pressing the faulty 'Over Drive' switch on the edge of the Space Gear's gear lever, and I turn the wheel a little to the left to counter the misalignment, just like I did back then. *sebak* That's how much I miss you.

On paper, the Alphard would have the Space Gear for dinner. Maybe. But the Mitsubishi has the advantage of 12 years' worth of memories, of momentuous growing-up milestones, of carpooling commutes from school to home to tuition classes. I went camping and fishing in it. And to a lake-isle in Perak and as far south as Singapore and as far north as the Kelantan-Thailand border. I've been scolded till I cried in there. I've drank a bottle of Coke (500ml) in one gulp in there. My first accident. Even the first kiss was in there. As of right now, I'd go for the Space Gear without a shadow of a doubt. Am I still not over you? *shrugs* Maybe, maybe not.

Given time, more things will happen with the Alphard and the bond between man and machine would be much stronger. They won't be equal in any way, though. The Space Gear years were those I spent growing up, learning things and enjoying being a child. No way in hell would those years be repeated for anyone, ever. For different eras, tastes and preferences would change, and the Space Gear was spot on for that period.

For now I'll just have to repress those dastardly 'coelacanths' and stop comparing and simply enjoy the Alphard for the brilliant people carrier that it is.

'Layan' With a Capital L

The things that makes me go weak in the knees, go 'ga-ga' on the inside, and give me those tingling sensations:

+ 100% pure juice. No preservatives. No sugar added. Kalau ada pulp lagi bagus.

+ Pineapple juice.

+ Gingel ale with a twist of lemon.

+ Kopi 'O Ais in the morning! To hell with all your stupid fancy Italian/French-named coffee.

+ Gawa or the kopi Arab some old Arab in an igaal would give you for buka puasa at the Masjidil Haram. It's like a slap in the face. The good kind.

+ Reading while taking a shit. My lifetime total would equal to three novels and countless Doraemons.

+ Correctly predicting the lines movies/TV shows.

+ Nyanyi dalam shower. Kurik Kundi is exactly 5:33 minutes long so singing it according to every note as per the mp3 would mean I do not spend too much time in the shower. Bagaikan Puteri is 4:52. I'm usually off by 3 seconds but cukup tepat a tu.

+ Honking assholes on the road. This one's a rare pleasure. You'd need 1) an asshole on the road and 2) be cekap enough to find the asshole (and maybe even be in a position in which the said asshole could harm you) and slam the horn. Sumpah layan gila when you feel right and you're patronizing a wrong person.

+ Harassing football fans when their team gets screwed. I fear the day when Man Utd will kantoi big time. I am not a glory hunter for supporting Man Utd. That goes back to my dad who studied in University of Manchester Institute of Science and Technology (UMIST, now back to being part of UM).

+ Gayut telefon. It's been a while now... I've kinda lost my touch. Kejap je dah lenguh.

+ Nasi putih, sup ekor, ayam goreng cili/kari ayam, and ikan masin diperah limau nipis.

+ Kailan ikan masin (hooyeah!).

+ At the right time, at the right mood: fried chicken.

+ Pizza with anchovies.

+ Menghidu bunga-bungaan. This tree is in bloom even before the others have leaves. Harum gila. A nice sight on my way to class every morning.

Idiot-proof Assignment

All this while I could get away with it by reading critiques as well as Wikipedia 'Overviews'. I skipped having to watch a six hour documentary because Wiki was nice enough to sum it all up in less than two pages online. But this week's assignment is foolproof.

From 'The Beggar's Opera' by John Gay, describe two characters and the material items he/she owns or uses and his/her relation or need for them.

Wiki can't save my ass for this one.

Kena buat secara 'by the book' kalau nak score.

Teik!

What I Learnt at PLKN Part I

I swear to God I am not referring to a website for the lyrics. I know them by heart.

*Muka feeling sambil buka baju, sarung tuala, menari dengan sabun on the way to the shower.*

Kau kekasih aaaaawal dan aaaakhir
Kau kekasih baaaatin dan zaaaahir
Tak kukisah taaaaak kupeeeeduli
Walau bulan jaaaatuh ke buuumi
Dan hadir bidaaaadariiiiii-ihi-ihi (part ni high pitch gila babi)


That's all I know from what they've been singing every single fucking day I was there. And they thought it weird that a city boy like me didn't know the words.


It's times like these I wanted my mommy.

Why I Miss Bahasa Melayu

"Di mana bumi dipijak, di situ langit dijunjung."
...to justify why we do things my way.

"Berat sama dipikul, ringan sama dijinjing."
...only ever used in BM karangans.

"Manusia merancang, tuhan menentukan."
...usually preceded by 'masalahnya' or 'namun' or 'tapi', in an attempt to cover up your fucking up. It's nice because it sounds pious. Hahaha.

"Ayuh kita bergegas!"
...said many times in Chicago when Nadiah got carried away taking useless pictures.

"Weh..."
...to call someone. Over here it's always "dude!"

*bunyi cium high pitch*
...also to call someone.

"Gila babi!" or "Gila babs!"
...a (sadly very bad) alternative to OMG.

"Gempak sial!"
...at something gempak.

"...sial!" or "...shhhiaaalll!" or "...doh!"
...at almost anything worth emphasizing.

"Buto ah..!"
...when something bad happens or you just wanna insult someone.

"Apa masalah kau?"
...at someone who seems to have a problem.

"Bertepuk sebelah tangan."
This has no English equivelant. Which makes it so much cooler than it already is. It describes things (and/or situations) perfectly. And it sounds so right when you get to use it.

"Hamun! Hamun! Hamun!"
...to maki hamun a junior.

"Raung! Raung!"
...meraung bila sakit.

"Kepala bapak kau!"
...when I beg to differ. With a sabdu on the 'P' (baPak).

"Bini pertama belum tanam, dah nak nikah bini baru."
...said to people who pray before the azan ends.

"Tak lari gunung dikejar."
Still finding the opportune moment to say it. Used it once to spite Nadzrina in a phone argument she had with Steve.

"Takde benda. Aku cakap kau hensem."
...to cover up when someone I mengumpat overhears me.

"Tidak pernah kuduga-ha, ini semua terjadi-hi."
...whenever something tak terduga terjadi. In the tune of 'Dilema' by Nora and Vince.

"Alang-alang menyeluk pekasam, biar sampai ke pangkal lengan wo-ho-ho-o-oh."
...said to encourage an activity we are doing. In the tune of M. Nasir's song 'Mentera Semerah Padi'.

"Hai, boleh kita berkenalan?"
Cheesy pickup line I've been dared to use many times. I have never used it. Yet.

The various versions of words for slightly differing situations. Like 'seret' and 'heret', 'silau' and 'kilau', 'sepak', 'lempang', 'tampar', 'tempeleng' and 'lepuk'. Nice.

The 'lah' and 'kan' and the mysterious 'kot'.

In "jangan a," we know the 'a' comes from 'lah'. And in "takpe en?" the 'en' comes from 'kan'. But try thinking about where 'kot' comes from. I didn't sleep one night thinking about it. It is the biggest mystery in Bahasa Melayu.

KOT.

Now I will seek the counsel of one Ashhad Khan from Dubai, to teach me insults in Arabic.

Steve G. Lewis said he learnt Malay very quickly by learning the various applications of the 'pantats' and the 'pukimaks'.



Ana fi'lan jamil.

Chicago

I was only there two half days and one full day and I must say I'm impressed. Some may attest to that due to the fact that we were stranded for an hour in windy -10°C conditions waiting for a bus and it was 2:30A.M.

O'Hare airport is ridiculously far away but is somehow still connected to the subway system. Thta's probably the longest subway ride I ever had. 21 stops to the Loop. Yet it's an old city and so not many of the major hubs are connected. Union Station, for example, isn't. You have to take a bus. And I hate buses. And there are three freaking buildings with "Union Station" written on it. The station itself which houses the Amtrak. The old station whcih houses the Metra. And the parking lot (which I circled finding a way in but was confused since only cars could go in).

The public transportation system is a bitch only because of the ticketing and the 'no change given' policy of the machines. Minneapolis is king when it comes to that. And New York. But in Minneapolis, you could pay by card, thus cancelling out the need to have singles.

The Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory is to die for. If I had five minutes in Chicago, I'd tell everyone I know in the city to meet me there and order that.

The metallic bean is pretty yet pretty ugly.

It's not as windy as it's nickname suggests. And that could be overrated.

The University of Chicago is pretty, and small, and kinda nice. But they rejected me so I'll still be bitter as hell towards them.

The signage is shitty. Attractions and hubs should have better signages.

The streets are wide. And I like that. It feels airy and roomy. Unlike Shittsburgh and Manhattan.

Other than that, sama je dengan bandar lain.

Things You Can't Learn From Reading A Book

+ The experience of an accident.

I was 'lucky' enough, in my first month as a Malaysian P-licence holder, to be able to experience a long distance drive at night (Tuas, Johor - Home, Kuala Lumpur; 4 hours; 400+km) as well as an accident which involved a motorcyclist whose bike was pretty damaged and who couldn't walk for two days.

I was driving my beloved - the red Mitsubishi Space Gear or as fondly known to us, the red van - to class one day. I was with my roommate Fadzrul, and as usual (at that period of time) Paris Hilton's Stars are Blind was practically on all the radio stations, and we'd spend the ride cursing. I was singalling right to turn into the Section 17, Shah Alam flat carpark. From the opposite direction, a car looked like it was about to turn left into the same carpark I was headed. It was signalling to the left. When the driver looked at me nonchalantly, I thought she was giving me right of way. So I turn right. But as the van moves into the next lane, a fucking kapcai appears from behind the car, swerves around it and, seeing the big red van block his way, brakes and slides sideways and rams the hood of my van. I was half-way turned in, and he hit me from a 10- or 11-o'clock direction.

His side rammed me. It was just so surreal. A bike sliding and skidding, rider looking like he's trying his best to control his machine. Bike ramming into the van. He bounces up and his helmet hits the windscreen. I brake hard. He's lying on the road screaming, squirming, hands on his legs.

The taking care of him and trying to do something to right your wrong. The guilt. The nervy feeling. The "it wasn't my fault, saya mangsa keadaaan je!" feeling. Knowing nobody's gonna believe you. Going to the clinic and seeing his parents' dismay; looking at the way they look at me; promising them I'd pay for the X-ray and whatever medication and then walking out because I was too shaken. Being chased by his father as I tried to make it to class. Being told to pay the bill. The confrontation/compensation once he could walk - ketuk handle motor bengkok: RM100, seminggu tak boleh kerja: RM50 sudeh... The mark on the van. Damn, it was cute.

Rush! Phi Kappa Theta (φκθ)

"So, you've ever fired a gun before?"

"Yeah. A .22 rifle and a 9mm."

"Awesome! Came along for more?"

"No. I just broke up with my girlfriend."

"Oh shit, we shouldn't have brought you here!"

Heheheh. Nah, I'm not suicidal or psychotic. Okay. Not suicidal. Nope. But psychotic and in need of therapy? I'd like to think I could turn over a new leaf. I know I've done some pretty creepy things to people but this is just something different for me. Rushing means meet new people; people who wanna meet new people. Rushing means do shit with people; fun shit that you don't usually get your ass to do during the usual days of a semester. Rushing is refreshing to me as of now.

I know it's ironic but a trip to a shooting range 5 days after a break up is a pretty good way to blow off your steam. No, I'm not on rapid fire mode screaming "Die bitch! Die!" I was pretty precise. 25 yards out I only missed the target once but still got on the paper. 35 yards out I still got a decent score for a first-timer. The Glock 19 with the laser was bullshit, though. One whole clip and I only got the edge of the paper once. And then they tell me "the laser's off target."

Tomorrow's event is Charlie Murphy - Eddie Murphy's brother. He's a standup doing a show in Pittsburgh of all places. But hey, we're a cool enough city to attract Lifehouse. I dunno. Whatever lah kan?

Then there's a night on the town this weekend. And Hooters. Ya think anyone currently in my circle of contact would wanna go Downtown? Let alone see Shittsburgh? Then come Monday it's Fifa. Since people here prefer Halo and Guitar Hero and Madden, some asses are gonna get kicked by the Malaysian.

Movies

1993

+ Jurassic Park
The Mall
Family

1996

+ 101 Dalmations
TGV One Utama
Family

1997

+ Titanic
TGV One Utama
Family

1998

+ Godzilla
TGV One Utama
Hanad, Ayman, Iylia

1999

+ Spiders
TGV One Utama
Birthday/Friends

2000

+ Mousetrap
KYS Great Hall

2001

+ One Leg Kicking
TGV One Utama
Jes

+ Pearl Harbor
GSC Mid Valley
Ayman, Jes

+ Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone
TGV KLCC
Hanaa, Li-Ann, Mat Yap

2002

+ Reign of Fire
GSC Mid Valley

+ The Transporter
GSC Mid Valley
NJ

+ Lord of The Rings - The Two Towers
Warner Village, Ealing, London
Mat Yap

2003

+ Matrix: Revolutions
GSC Mid Valley
Fariz

+ Jutawan Fakir
GSC Mid Valley
EDC 0105

2004

+ Gothika
KYS Great Hall

+ The Day After Tomorrow
KYS Great Hall

+ Cinta Luar Biasa
GSC Times Square
Cuit, Kame, Atrash

+ Mean Creek
GSC Mid Valley
Atrash

2005

+ The Constant Gardener
GSC Mid Valley
EDC 0105

+ Star Wars Epidose III - Revenge of the Sith
TGV KLCC
Hanaa and her family

+ Kung Pao
Laptop, kat dorm

+ Chicken Little
TGV Mahkota Parade
Soong, et al.

2006
+ Click
TGV One Utama
Ringgo, Amsyar, Dian, Intan, Nadiah, Saf
+ Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
TGV Sunway Pyramid Ringgo, Apis, Rahim, Chicha, Popo, Tahn, Mat Yap

+ John Tucker Must Die
TGV Bukit Raja
Apis, Bozai, Didi, Rahim
TGV Sunway Pyramid
Alina, Fizah, Dila

+ Casino Royale
GSC Mid Valley
Alina

+ Deja Vu
GSC Mid Valley
Alina

2007

+ Music and Lyrics
TGV Sunway Pyramid
Alina

+ Transformers
TGV Sunway Pyramid
Alina

+ 300
TGV Sunway Pyramid
Alina

+ Ghost Rider
GSC Mid Valley
NJ, Mior, Koyot

+ Blades of Glory
TGV Sunway Pyramid
Alina
TGV KLCC
Popo, Mat Yap, Atrash

+ Spiderman 3
GSC USJ Summit
Alina

+ Shrek the Third
TGV Sunway pyramid
Alina

+ Jangan Pandang Belakang
+ Sunshine
TGV Sunway Pyramid
Alina

+ Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
TGV Sunway Pyramid
Alina

+ Die Hard 4.0 GSC Times Square
EG, Topan, kanak-kanak KYUEM

+ The Bourne Ultimatum
Loewe's Theatres, Waterfront, Pittsburgh
King, Afif, Jun Xian

+ The Kingdom
West Mifflin
Steve, Afif, Farhan

2008

+ Juno
Edgewater Multiplex, NJ
Syaheedah

+ Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Lincoln Square Multiplex, NY
Syaheedah, Emilia

+ The Orphanage
Loewe's Theatres, Waterfront, Pittsburgh
Yang Bin, Jackie